The Three Boys

John V has quickly overcome all of his initial disappointment and is now announcing to the world that he has a new brother, Levi, on the way. The way he says his brother's name is adorable! Last night they wanted a picture of the three boys taken together. I can't tell you how special these wonderful "men" are to me! My sweet husband is such a terrific boy dad, a godly example of masculinity and emotion, brains and spirituality, tenderness and strength. I am so excited for Levi to have this dad and brother!

"Kissing baby brother"

This is Levi!

It's a . . .

BOY!!! We are beyond thrilled! He is healthy and seems to have the correct number of everything. Praise the Lord for His gracious gift! Our sweet one's name will be Levi Joshua. Levi means "unified" and we pray that he will feel a special and important part of our family unit as the second son and a child so closely following Kailey in age. So often the third child brings such a special spirit that is able to read people and the greatest of hearts. We will eagerly look forward to seeing all that is completely unique about our son. Joshua, of course, comes from our experience in December and the verses in the Bible that God gave to us in our scary moments. Joshua means "God saves." Just writing that gives me chills. He does. Whether spiritually or physically, He is constantly saving us when we are completely helpless to do anything for ourselves. I keep saying his sweet name over and over, so excited to be able to address my son! There will be special prayers in our home tonight as we pray over our children!

John V seemed very disappointed at first that it was not two babies. Even the sonogram technician felt bad for him as he was saying, "But we need a LOT of kids!" (That is not something that we have said to him, by the way.) I reminded him that God brings them one at a time (usually) in His timing, and that we would just keep the desire of John's heart in front of God's throne. I have full confidence that God has given him that precious spirit because he will be the oldest of several and it completely amazes me to see the preparation God will do in my children for His plans. I don't even have to take care of it! What a precious Lord. By the time we finished our celebratory lunch with the grandparents (and two aunts), John had lost his disappointment and was telling everyone it was going to be a brother "just like him." Kailey has absolutely no idea what is happening. : ) We cannot wait to see yet another precious sibling relationship develop in front of our eyes.

It means so much to me for all of you to have shared in my excitement over this day. The only thing as fun as a momentous day in your life is having loved ones to share it with! I love you all!

Spiritual Preparations

This morning I am feeling a little introspective. I woke up feeling excited and then just began on a little "remembering" walk with the Lord as I began to pray about the sonogram. Due to my family's (and other's) recent histories, I have learned to never take for granted what will happen during the course of a pregnancy. Learned that while there is no reason to fear, I have no "right" to a healthy baby and certainly "deserve" it no more than all the thousands who experience losses and difficulties. It has been amazing that even in having a deeper and more personal realization of all that can happen, I can still have more excitement and hope than ever before. Somewhere on this crazy road of bearing children there was a change. I started out driving the car and asking the Lord to navigate and tell me the best way to go. When traveling that way there is some pride upon reaching a destination, some personal responsibility when goals are reached, even when we are taking credit for what we have absolutely no control over. But somewhere in this pain and joy, the longing and waiting and the speed, the answers and the remaining questions, we did a Chinese fire drill. I think it was a gradual process. If you've ever changed drivers without getting out of the car, you know the tangle of arms and legs around the steering wheel as you try to switch seats. I think that may be what it has looked like. But as I prayed this morning, I realized that I have absolutely no desire to drive. I even have less and less of a pull to grab at the steering wheel when something scary seems imminent. More and more, when an obstacle shows up in the road, I just want to grab at His arm, just hold on to make sure He's taking care of it. This change has come at a dear price, but there is no value that can be put on peace and trust. How many children we have and when, their health, their futures, their genders, their timing - all of this is not mine and it never was. I only ask to sit and ride and to enjoy this journey. He's the only One who can truly keep in mind where we're ultimately headed anyway - we always seem to be on personal detours. I am so thrilled and can hardly wait until 11:30 when we no longer have to wonder who this little person is! I am so grateful that whoever he or she is, whatever happens in his or her life, I don't have to have all the answers. I can just point at the One driving and say, "Blessed be the Name of the Lord."

What Are We Feeding This Kid?!

Well, John V was at it again today. He's just on his game lately. He has continued insisting that we are having both a boy and a girl baby. "Two." I guess twins are just on the brain lately. While I am trying to convince him that we have had a sonogram and seen one baby, he continues to believe. "Maybe it's four or six," he'll add at times. Whoa! Apparently this kid really wants lots of siblings and right away. God sent him to the right family - he fits in perfectly! Anyway, tonight he explained to me that the way there are two babies is because one is in my tummy and one is in his. I believe I have the boy and he has the girl if I'm remembering correctly. Then he announced that he needed to go have a haircut and they would see if the baby was coming out. Out of where?! HIS HEAD! Of course, if he's pregnant, that definitely explains him feeling like he's growing a tail. Pregnancy brings about all sorts of odd sensations. I seriously wonder what we're going to do with this little guy sometimes. I love him so!

You're Growing A What??!!!!

Last night while reading before bed, John V kept pulling on his pants. When John asked him what was wrong he surprised us with this answer. "I don't know. I think it might be a tail growing or something." WHAT??!!! I know we're weird, but I don't think we're quite that freaky yet. Who knows?

Countdown to March 4th

While I will be voting in the primary election, I am not quite elated enough about McCain or Obama to be waiting with bated breath for my moment at the voter's box. No, while this may seem selfishly small in comparison with the fate of our country, a week from today is. . . THE SONOGRAM! For some reason I am even more eager during this pregnancy to know the gender of our baby than I was the previous two times. John V has done a complete about face on us and instead of insisting that it is a brother, or a brother and a sister, now he says it's definitely a sister. There's no depending on that boy. : ) John says it's a boy, and while I think that is where I'm leaning deep down, I'm a little burned because I thought the same thing about Kailey. Speaking of Kailey, she surprisingly shows no leanings either direction. : ) We will be ecstatic either way. I think one reason I am eagerly anticipating this day is because it will help the reality of this to sink in a little further. The baby's movements have certainly helped in the last few weeks, but I still catch myself in the mirror and have a moment of shock before I remember that I'm pregnant. It's so strange because I just did this! We are doing all of the usual preparations, but most of all, we are spending time daily praying for John V and Kailey that the Lord will be preparing them for this transition and already filling them with love for this little one who will change and bless their lives forever. I can't wait to see their responses to the sonogram next week.

Want to weigh in on boy or girl?!

The Twins

Some of you have asked about my twin nieces. They were born on the 8th and are absolutely beautiful! After a short bout in Cook's for Addison, they are both home with a happy mommy (John's sister), daddy, and brother. I wish I had more pictures but you know how it goes. You can tell just how beautifully my children were acting in this first shot. :) So far my nieces are highly outnumbering my nephews! It's so fun for me to wonder just how many I'll end up with. With my five siblings and John's two - who knows? I love it!

Meeting Avery for the first time

John, Jamie, & Jordan with the twins

Avery and Addison when they were finally able to snuggle up together after Addison's bout in the hospital. I'm already in love!

Beautiful Saturday Afternoon

We decided to stop by the Fort Worth Botanic Garden for a little while before church on a beautiful Saturday afternoon a few weeks ago. We were already in Fort Worth so John suggested we take advantage of the pretty day. It was so much fun! The kids loved it and thought they were little explorers on all the paths. We have done a much better job of protecting part of our weekends lately and have enjoyed some important and much-needed, relaxing family time. We love spending time with our daddy!

John V turns everything into a race or competition. He had to get ahead of us.

This girl thinks her daddy is amazing. Her face when he walks in the door at night is absolutely priceless.

Checking out all the opportunity for exploration

Sweet boy!

John is so precious with the baby. Because he understands so much more this time around, it has been incredibly special to enjoy this pregnancy with him.

My girl is getting big! She is so much fun right now!

Playing chase (while Mommy still can)

I love this face! He's my buddy!

Explanation

I guess I should explain my out-of-character, month-long absence from blog world. It is difficult to explain how I have been feeling lately. I think they are pretty normal emotions for a mom of small children, especially when piling pregnancy hormones and exhaustion on top of the normal pace of life. I've been tired, a little withdrawn, and honestly just not having the energy to reach out to anyone else. I decided I had to take a break from the hosting, and doing, and calling, etc. to just give myself and my little family a chance to breathe and prepare for the life-changing months ahead. I think deep inside I was wanting for someone to see the signs and reach out to me. I know that seems silly, but we all know how we are as women and we just want to be helped without having to ask. Certainly an unreasonable expectation, but we keep hoping just the same. Our families, as always, were right there with their constant offers of help. The way they love our children and appreciate me for the physical effort it takes to both bear and raise these little ones is the kind of support people dream of having. Whether I'm talking to my family or John's, I can always count on my cheerleader/helpers, even when their lives are busy as well. How I love them all!

As usual during these periods, I also felt the need to draw in towards God and bring myself back to a place of resting and listening for Him. I have gone back to reading, which has always been a huge part of my life, and had lately gone completely missing. It has been wonderful to go through book after book again just eating it up. I think I was spiritually and mentally hungry.

Despite all of this, I realized that I was hoping God would prompt a friend to realize something was off and reach out. What ended up being so neat about what God did is that most of the reaching came from unexpected places. Friends I don't usually see, the opportunity to reconnect or spend time with those I've intended to be with for years. We had a fun playdate with some "ladies" (as John V called the girls) we don't usually see, and other interaction that has just breathed new life into our social world. : ) (Thanks for including me, Kristen, Amanda, and Jennifer!)

I do have to especially mention two friends, though. Both of these girls are in the middle of their own life changes, and certainly busy enough to do what I too often do and simply not follow through on those promptings to call or e-mail someone to check on them. One of them is my sweet friend, Betsy. While she was on weekly countdown to her own first baby, she faithfully dropped me a line to check on me, see how I was feeling, encourage me, and remind me that she is sharing in my excitement over this third baby just like she would have my first. Simple little e-mail "conversations" that made me realize someone was thinking about me and I wasn't "out of sight, out of mind" like I was feeling. The other friend God has used to love me through my funk is no surprise. My Shelma. Sometimes I feel like Shelly is the other end of the radio on the ship where all you have to do is signal "S.O.S" and you get all the support you need. Someone at your house with conversation and Chick-Fil-A sandwiches. That's a friend. : ) I never go too long without a call or an e-mail and there is someone right there who will listen to what is going on way down deep. Thank you, girls for being faithful to God's promptings. You have been lifelines to me! I love you both!

I am starting to come up for air, to feel a little more focused and less overwhelmed. I have much to do to prepare for our next little sugar, but it will all get done in time. So, that is where I have been. I'm back and way behind on posting pictures and lots of good news and stories. Praise God for His faithfulness during all of life's moments. During our more victorious ones and the ones that might include a little more wallowing. : ) He is good!

Happy Valentine's Day!

Today was a sweet day. Last night we made some Valentine's cards complete with stickers and hand drawings. This morning we had heart pancakes. Instead of going on a date tonight, we decided to do Valentine's as a family so the kids and I fixed Daddy's favorite dinner and dessert and we all had a special dinner on the china in the dining room. A very special occasion. : ) We took turns saying what we loved most about each other. It was absolutely precious hearing John V express the things he loves about his sister and each of us. He kept thinking of more to add to his list. I think we may have to do that at dinner more often! My heart still starts pumping when my sweet husband walks in the door each year with my pink roses and tells me how glad he is that I'm his valentine. How grateful I am that I can be just that for the rest of my life!

I hope all of you felt especially loved today. I am always overwhelmed when I stop to think about the incredible love the Father pours out on us daily, even when we are too busy or tied up in our selfishness to stop and acknowledge His gift. He is truly the ultimate Valentine. May you be filled with His unconditional love to then pour out on those around you!

I love you all!

Fantasia Mini Golf

Well, it's time to get back to the pictures. After we spent the day at Animal Kingdom we went home for a rest and then John, Dad, John V and I headed out for some mini golf. My son is already quite the avid golf fan and is a fairly good, if not consistent, miniature golf player. He gets a genuine hole-in-one every time we play. He'll probably be beating me before he's five. I am the queen of a really good hole and then one where I lose it. This course was a ton of fun and each hole had something neat that moved or happened when you hit the ball. We had a fun evening, and Grandpa showed himself to be a worthy opponent for my husband.

Ready to play

Coaching Dad after playing this hole quite nicely

Mom actually needs quite a bit of coaching when trying to hit up a hill

That's a big, dancing hippo

Apparently he doesn't have to coach Grandpa and has time to look at the camera

The Dolphin Hotel across from the miniature golf course

Memorial Reminders

Yesterday was our Mimi's memorial service. It was a beautiful time of celebration. There really is tremendous joy in the home-going of one of God's children after living a full life well. I'm sure if we truly understood the concept of eternity and the fullness in the Presence of God, we could find equal reason to celebrate when remembering a shorter life, but it is difficult when our minds are so wrapped up in our temporal lives here and what we feel that person is "missing." However when someone has lived a beautiful eighty-four years, even in our weakness, we can rejoice in her exit from what was good and entrance into what is indescribable. I sit here trying to imagine what she is doing, feeling, how her very being is full of the glory and holiness of GOD HIMSELF! I can only imagine.

As I sat in the service today I was reminded of a few things:

• Despite the difficulties, the sadness, the cycle of life - what God has given us is so good. To experience loving someone so much that you grieve and miss that one when he or she is gone is a truly beautiful thing. The greater your love, the greater the sadness, but also the greater the sense of how wonderful the gift you were given in that person.

• The concept of eternity - mind boggling and glorious!

• One of the great blessings of John and I having known each other for so long is that I was given years to know three of his grandparents. I stayed in a hotel room with his Granny and in his Mimi & Grandy's house before I was even "the girlfriend." I knew them when they were traveling and getting around, had the opportunity to know that they loved me and were glad I was a part of their grandson's life. Also, to have seen them love on our kids was a beautiful gift. I feel so blessed to be able to join in on some of the "remember when" discussions and to be able to picture each personality trait and characteristic when they are remembering. That means I miss them too, but it's well worth it.
  

• Family is incredible! To, by marriage, be a part of TWO of the most incredible families is a blessing that humbles me. Who am I to have such a gift? To have two fathers who love, care for, and lead their families. Two mothers who give their absolute all to love their families and serve their needs. A total of eleven siblings (counting in-laws and one girlfriend who's as good as ours) who love each other and want to be together and stand by one another. Days like today remind me of the awesome support that provides. My parents, almost all of my siblings, and one of my grandmothers came to support my husband and his family today because they feel that we are all part of one bigger family. My mother and mother-in-law say the kindest, most supportive things about each other and truly care to share us with the other. I just was overwhelmed as I thought of it today.

• And finally, as I sat there today I thought of the incredible way that God can work in two hearts to make them one. I love my husband so tremendously that when he hurts I feel like my heart could come out of my chest. I can't do enough to be close to him and try to take some of it away. What a great privilege to be the one to hold his hand, to walk through this journey together. Four years ago we had experienced very little of this kind of burden-bearing together. In that short time, we have buried three grandparents and a nephew. How quickly things can change and you can be called to support in a whole, new way! I can't thank God enough for giving me someone to share the joys and half the burdens!

Life can be difficult. It is temporary. Eternity is glorious and waiting. God is good. . . all the time.

Animal Kingdom

Animal Kingdom was yet another huge hit with my kids. The amazing wildlife, beautiful scenery, and the FANTASTIC "Finding Nemo" musical were great. If you ever go, don't miss that musical!

John and Turk. He's never seen Tarzan but hey, it's a big monkey!

Beautiful elephants

Great entertainers!

Pink animal print seemed fitting for the day

John V loved the dinosaur kids' area!

MGM

Our next day at the park was MGM. I did a completely different set of rides than I usually do there! No "Tower of Terror" or "Rockin' Roller Coaster" for this expectant mommy. This time I was at the Playhouse Disney show, the parade, and on the search for characters John V wanted to hug.

Ready for some 3D action with the Muppets

Ready for the parade to start - Grandpas make nice chairs : )

Flexing with The Incredibles

June and Quincy got HUGE hugs - a little starstruck to meet THE LITTLE EINSTEINS!

"It's Handy Manny!"

"Like my cool ears?"

Dancin' at Playhouse Disney with Bear

The amazing lights display. The lights dance to the music!

This felt like being in a movie as you walked down the street covered in lights and listened to Christmas music

Epcot

One of my favorite parks in Disney World is Epcot. We spent the day there and then went back for half a day later in the week. John V was a huge fan of the newly redone Nemo area that used to be the Living Seas. It was great! I've already shown you my pictures of Kailey fully enjoying her lunch and licking her plate.

All the interactive, gagdety stuff was a big hit with my kids

A girl and her grandpa

I think there is a little boy under that sombrero!

We love Donald Duck!

Missing Mimi

My favorite picture of Mimi the day Kailey was born

We got a call in the wee hours yesterday morning that John's grandmother had gone to be with Jesus. For the past few years she has lived with John's parents so we have been blessed to see her often and for our children to have the opportunity to know and love her. John V has been an unusually blessed boy in having the opportunity to know 7 of his 8 great-grandparents. It was sad explaining to him that we'll have to miss Mimi for a while so she can live with Jesus while we stay here. He seemed quite logical about the whole thing like he was thinking, "Uh, who wouldn't want to go live with Jesus? Yeah for Mimi!" Exactly the perspective we all should have, although our sadness at missing someone just makes it difficult at times. We would appreciate your prayers for the whole family as everyone adjusts to the hole in their lives, especially John's mom, Sandy. On top of everything, yesterday was Sandy's birthday - a difficult birthday but we celebrated with her last night, rejoicing that God gave us our Nonnie. She has been an incredible example of a selfless servant as she has cared for her mom. She and John's dad have sacrificed, nurtured, and loved their mother/mother-in-law in a very special way. I have the deepest admiration for them and pray that my heart will be as willing and Christlike if I am called to the same task. We are incredibly grateful for having had a wonderful holiday season with our Mimi and a quick and easy homegoing while she was still sharp and very happy. Thank you, Lord, for the promise of a reunion with You!

I also heard some news about my friends in the car accident. Miraculously there were not even any broken bones. The two children were able to go home that night, the husband the following day, but as of my last hearing, my friend is still in the hospital with some severe bruising and a concussion. I think you will agree that the Lord deserves praise for a complete miracle when you look at the car below! The front passenger seat shown is where my friend was sitting. Please continue to pray for her complete recovery and praise God for His protection on her family!

Magic Kingdom - Part Two

We had lunch with Pooh and his friends at the Crystal Palace and then headed out for more rides before naps. We had a nice, long nap so we would be ready for Mickey's Christmas Party that night. The park stays open late, they have a wonderful parade, and it "snows" on Main Street. It is beautiful. The castle was covered in lights, and it was stunning. I never get tired of going to Magic Kingdom, especially with a child who has never been! (And our family usually manages to take one of those!)

That is one big hug Mr. Pooh is getting

THE ride - Buzz Lightyear! I'm not sure which one of them likes it more.

The man himself. John V was impressed that Dad could hold his own next to Buzz.

Christmas Party!

It was a little chilly that night so the kids bundled up for the parade. The cold air made it feel even more Christmas-like.

We found Woody all by himself while everyone else was busy watching fireworks.

"Dad, those are LOUD!"

Three cool dudes

Ten Years Together

Last night was a special anniversary for John and me. We have now been a couple for ten years! Somehow I managed to zip both Baby and myself into my black dress and we headed out to a wonderful steak dinner where I cut only my own food and enjoyed every bite!

On New Year's Eve '07/'08, a very nervous 18-year-old John asked my dad if he could take me out and start spending time with me as a couple. We had both graduated from high school the spring before and now John was at work for a consulting company in Dallas while I had just returned from living in Dallas during the fall. We went from friends who spent a ton of time together with our buddies to a new couple figuring out how this whole thing worked! It took a lot of trial and error, adjustment from both of our families, and a lot of patience and prayer. The value of the next few years was priceless as we took very seriously the time we were spending seeking God's will and growing both individually and as a couple. I can remember waiting for his phone call each night when he left work and started the drive from Dallas to his home in Benbrook. Lots of good talking time. I've now been getting that call when he leaves work every working day for ten years. : ) I could probably count on one hand the days I haven't talked to him since then and there haven't been too many more that I haven't seen him. I still never get tired of his phone calls or any less thrilled to see him.

I still can't believe John chose me out of the girls in the world to be his. I thank God for this wonderful, faithful man and all the ways he has grown and the way the Lord has allowed us to make so much of our spiritual journey together. I thought he was wonderful ten years ago but I don't think I had scratched the surface of all that he was and what he was going to become. He is strong and full of purpose. He is committed and faithful. I never have a second's doubt or mistrust of him or his motives. He is full of life and ready to enjoy every second, no matter what we're doing! Baby, I love you and I'll gladly be the other half of this couple for decades more!!!

P.S. I just received a phone call that a friend of ours was in a severe car wreck tonight at 9:00 with her husband and two young children. They were cut out of the car and care flighted to the hospital. Please keep the Sherburne and Monroe families in your prayers when you read this. I can only imagine what they and their families are going through tonight!