God is Faithful

Some of you are already aware of this, but to fill the rest of you in...a slightly altered version of my e-mail. Blessed be the Name of the Lord! While I started to keep this news to myself, I felt burdened to share the mercy and grace of God as He pours out His peace that passes all understanding. Much love to those of you pouring out prayers on our behalf.

While others were going about their morning routine on Friday morning, we had an eventful morning. While we had not told anyone (including our kids), I have known I was pregnant for the last few weeks. That morning, however, I lost our little one. We had just been dealing with all the overwhelming emotion of preparing for a new one in addition to our move and now all of that adjustment has changed to the grief of realizing that will not happen right now. Physically I am fine and it has been a huge blessing to have my sweet midwife a phone call or text away. We are sad but amazingly peaceful. I can only be overwhelmed as my three beautiful children wake up in the morning, not with grief, but with gratitude. I have been given so much more than I could ever ask for. It's as if my eyes are even more open to the blessings surrounding me. If the Lord needs my little heavenly army of now four angel babies for His purposes, who am I to question that? God is good, not when I get what I want, but every day of His perfect Existence. The verses He gave me were these - Psa. 84:10-12. I truly have an overwhelming sense right now of the beauty and precious value of life and walking it with my Lord. Whatever that looks like, that is all I want.

I look forward with even more excitement than before to snuggling Brittany's baby Karsen in the upcoming weeks. What a perfect healing balm she will be!

Please do keep in mind that our kids do not know about this. We feel that would be unnecessary pain for them at this point. When they are a little older we will be sure to tell them of all the works God has done in our family, including the ones that are a bit harder to understand.

'Tis So Sweet

I feel that there is so much going on in my life right now. So much whirling and swirling in my mind, heart, and spirit. Much of this has to do with our upcoming move. As the weeks fly by I am mere weeks from an adventure unlike anything I have experienced before. I mean, the only time I can think of that I might possibly have gone a month without seeing my parents and family was the fall after I graduated from high school, and I think I saw them once or twice those two months I lived away. Come to think of it, that was probably also the only time since pre-adolescence that I went a month without seeing John's parents! : ) Anyway, with all the changes in store, waiting for our house to sell, preparing ourselves, our children, and our belongings for change, and the many other constant life events, it is a constant choice to trust. As I was singing Levi to sleep for his nap this afternoon, this song popped into my head. Every, single word exactly expressed my feelings and I sat there rocking him singing it over and over until the peace of the reminder washed over my spirit. 'Tis indeed sweet to trust in such a faithful Friend!

’Tis so sweet to trust in Jesus,
And to take Him at His Word;
Just to rest upon His promise,
And to know, “Thus says the Lord!”

Jesus, Jesus, how I trust Him!
How I’ve proved Him o’er and o’er
Jesus, Jesus, precious Jesus!
O for grace to trust Him more!

I’m so glad I learned to trust Thee,
Precious Jesus, Savior, Friend;
And I know that Thou art with me,
Wilt be with me to the end.

John V

So, it's about time for me to update everyone on my kids. I'll start with John V and work my way down to that third child that no one knows anything about. Yes, he does exist and is quite a little character. Anyway, I could probably write for days about John V and how hilarious he is right now. Is it just me or do kids get better every year? Just when I think they are the cutest, funniest things, they get cuter and funnier! It is glorious to begin seeing the fruit of the prayers, blood, sweat, and tears that have gone into the last five years. John loves to please and to make choices that will make him a wise son. He adores the "big guys" with Dad being about ten notches above any superhero on the coolness scale. John V also can't wait for the small group "guys" to come over so he can "show Kyle and Freeby how cool this is." Then there will also be the random, "Does Uncle Jordan or Cameron or Christopher do this? Do they like this?" With every passing year I become more deeply grateful for the enormous amount of godly men in his life.

John is 5 and keeps asking when he will be 6. Slow down there, big guy! He loves doing his school every day. He thinks not doing school on the weekend because Mom needs a day or two off is fairly ridiculous. I mean, come on! We went to New Mexico for a few days and he made me pack all the school books. Maybe that's why we had to pay the heavy suitcase fee! He still loves gymnastics, became a great swimmer this summer, and is into playing any sport. We decided to squeeze in a season of T-Ball this fall before we move so that family could come and support him in his first baseball endeavor and also so he could be on a team with his best bud, Jack. His first game was rained out last weekend but he took it like a man. He is very ready for this Saturday's game. John V is a fantastic older brother and growing in patience by leaps and bounds. He will sometimes solve problems between Kailey and Levi without me ever needing to get involved! He does an excellent job with his chores of bed making, table setting, picking up, running the dustbuster, and helping with lunch. We are on a schedule that he adores. He loves to check the back of the pantry door and see "what it's time to do." Boy, that kids loves a clock. Here are just a few of the prime examples of John lately. I've posted these as Facebook statuses so bear with me if you've already seen them. We love our John V!

John (with admiration in his voice while watching me chop onions for dinner): "Mommy, you do that just like Rachael Ray!" (Yes, I'll take that ego boost. Thank you very much.) He is always my encourager.

At the first T-Ball practice John V was in a group with three boys, a coach, and another dad who were all total strangers along with Big John. When two of the boys starting picking on the other extremely shy boy, John V puts both hands out and says, "Guys, guys, leave him alone. He's just shy!" After that the shy boy was much more comfortable and the other two kids said, "Oh really?" and dropped it. John V already shows signs of being very perceptive of other people and their needs.

John V has a few minutes in his schedule each day where he can play Wii, which is a favorite activity. Over the past week I've noticed him opting out of that choice several times. I was curious about this new development today and asked him if he didn't enjoy playing Wii anymore. His response? "Mom, I just kind of feel like I'm 19 and need to work or something instead of playing games all day." Umm, okay. I wasn't aware that 30 minutes was all day and I can definitely tack on some more chores if he just desperately needs them.

Tonight at dinner I was feeding Kailey some bites of food. Me: "Kailey, open your mouth." John V: "Open. Like open the door. Or open your eyes to a world of 3D fun with the viewmaster and Discovery Channel!" Me (falling out of my chair laughing): "What?!" Apparently his animal binoculars say that!

At lunch the other day I was having a bit of a rough morning and again John V picked up on it without my saying a word. On the way downstairs after finishing school he said, "Mom, I'm going to help you with lunch. When people work too hard, it wears them out." Bless the child!