Kailey Abigail

To the left you can see sweet little feet and our baby girl's first profile shot. After deliberation and prayer we have decided to name this little girl Kailey Abigail. We actually chose this name the very first time we were pregnant in February 2003 and for several reasons still feel strongly that it is our name for our first girl. Besides loving the name, it goes perfectly with the precious way the Lord spoke to us before her conception.

John and I decided to have a day of prayer and fasting as we approached the week our baby that we miscarried last summer would have been due in February. It was also the week that we found out that we were pregnant with my first pregnancy in 2003 (also a miscarriage) and the week that I found out we weren't pregnant again for another month. Do you think this all added up to a little bit of emotion? I had three precious friends specifically praying for me that week and as each one called or checked on me I was able to give the miraculous report that God was wrapping me in His love to the point that I felt physically protected from all of the overwhelming emotion I had been expecting.

On our day dedicated to prayers seeking God in this area of our lives, John was at work and I was at home. I put Little John down for his nap and felt God prompting me to pull out a story I had recently been convicted by in a Bible study I was going through at church. So I got out my Bible, my Bible dictionary, my concordance and got ready to dig deep into the Word. As I began reading through 2 Chronicles 20 , I went very slowly with the Lord showing me revelation after revelation in each and every verse. It would take a short book to write it all down (and I have written it because I don't ever want to forget), but basically there were a few basic truths that hit me hard that day. One was the reminder that my battle was not against the Lord but my battle against the Enemy belonged to the Lord. "This is what the LORD says to you: 'Do not be afraid or discouraged because of this vast army. For the battle is not yours, but God's.'" Then, that I could rest in praise of the Lord and He would show me and everyone else His strength and power. "You will not have to fight this battle. Take up your positions; stand firm and see the deliverance the LORD will give you." And lastly, that the reward I would receive from my giving the battle into the Lord's hands would be much more than I asked or imagined. "So Jehoshaphat and his men went to carry off their plunder, and they found among them a great amount of equipment and clothing and also articles of value—more than they could take away. There was so much plunder that it took three days to collect it." As I read through that last part I was reminded of the name Kailey that we had talked about naming a little girl because it means "crown." She is our priceless "valuable" or "precious jewelry," as one version puts it. John came home that night and we cried and shared together as he told me the things God had shown him - especially the story of Isaac praying over Rebekah that she would conceive. John prayed the most precious prayer over me that night as he asked the Lord that this week that had begun our journey through these three miscarriages would now be the week that ended it - that we would conceive and that the child would be healthy and strong as God delivered us to raise a Godly inheritance for Him. Exactly four weeks later we discovered that our prayer had been answered "yes" as it was prayed and that this was the first chapter in Kailey's story. Her middle name Abigail comes as we experience the "joy of the Father" that He has given us through this faith walk with Him. So, sweetheart, I hope you love your name as much as we do and you can know that it is already a name coming before our Father's throne many times a day as we seek Him on your behalf. We love you, baby Kailey Abigail!

26

Today is my 26th birthday. I have been thinking all morning of how blessed I am and what a wonderful life I live. I am surrounded by the love of my Lord, family, and friends, and I wouldn't change a thing. I think the words that best describe where I am as this year comes to a close would be "joy" and "peace." Every day my life is full of those little moments that fill my heart until it could burst. Nothing huge, nothing earth-shattering, just beautiful life that God has created and given. There is also a great peace in our family right now as we feel God's call on us and do our prayerful best, in His strength, to follow His leading. He has so specifically given us a vision for our family that becomes clearer each year, and it has been sometimes very difficult, but always wonderful, as we walk this path. A perfect example of this would be that last year on my birthday I was recovering from my third miscarriage wondering why God was allowing that particular trial yet again in our lives. This year I am expecting our precious baby daughter and looking back, knowing the things about Himself that the Lord has shown me and understanding a little better how He wants me to view my roller coaster ride of motherhood. I will always love and miss my babies and know that He is caring for them perfectly until I finally get my turn to see and hold them. Meanwhile I do my very best for the ones I have been given here and keep my perspective eternal. This is all for a little while and then there is forever. Thank you, Jesus.
Here are a few of the little, everyday things that are my favorite life moments on this birthday:

• Hearing my husband pray over Little John, our baby girl, and me each night
• Listening to Little John say his first Scripture verse in his little voice as he goes to sleep, "The Lord is my Shepherd"
• Feeling my baby girl kicking and moving as she grows
• Being wrapped in my husband's big hug
• Watching my excitement reflected on my son's face when his daddy walks in the door each evening or gets to stay on weekend mornings
• Living close to John's family and mine so that they can be a part of all the little moments as our children grow and watching Little John learn to dearly love the most important people in my life
• Having a constant flow of people in and out of our home as we strive for it to become a place where Jesus' heart for others is felt

This is my life and I love it.

It's a Girl!

I'm in total shock. I was so sure that my "mommy instinct" was telling me it was a boy. So much for gut feelings! We are completely thrilled and so grateful for the news that she looks very healthy and active. Looking at her bouncing around on the sonogram confirmed the jumping bean action I feel whenever I get still. She never stopped for a second! What a blessing from God to all of us.
Little John was very quiet and still while watching the sonogram and then when we told him he was having a baby sister he clapped. He kept hugging the sonogram pictures and saying "so cute" over and over! Unbelievably precious. What a wonderful gift he will be to our little girl. Having an older brother I am so thrilled for her to have his protection, advice, and friendship. I remember one of the things that excited me about having John first was that all of my other children would have at least one big brother. My dad pointed out that I should know about raising second-born girls, which is true, but at the moment my mind is still whirling with the unknowns. Just when I was getting used to the boy thing! Of course I know that each child is completely different whether they are the same or different genders. I am so grateful to have the guidance of their Heavenly Father who knows them inside and out from the moment of their conception. I am already praying for His revelations of the best ways to care for this precious heart that belongs to Him.
Praise the Lord for this healthy baby and thanks to all of you for your continued prayers for her and for me. I need to go look at pink things now. Time to get started. : )