Vision Trouble

Tonight we had a sad little experience for about an hour. When John woke up from his nap and we were about to head to church for class, he began crying and screaming that his eye hurt. (We still don't know how the foreign substance got in his eye but we think it might have been blue crayon based on other evidence. Don't ask me because I have no clue how that happened. He didn't have a blue crayon when I left him tucked in bed.) First, it can be so nice to have children at the stage where they can tell you what is hurting. That development is a blessing! But, although he kept asking us rather pathetically to help him and seemed sure that we could, he wouldn't let us do what we needed to do to wash his eye out. We knew we just needed to get enough of the liquid in there to wash out whatever was irritating him but he refused to let us put in the solution or to open his eye once we did. He preferred to keep his eyes closed and bury his head on my chest because then it apparently wasn't hurting him as much. Any light seemed to further irritate him. We finally did what all parents must do and held him down against his strongest protests to get it washed out. Immediately he felt better, opened his eye, hugged his dad, and started playing.

As I watched this play out and thought of those yucky things we have to do as parents because we know it will help, I was again reminded of how much like a two-year-old I can be when it comes to God trying to remove things from my eyes. I can choose very painful ways of viewing life, others, and God's ways just because it's more comfortable or familiar to me than opening my eyes for a few quick minutes of discomfort and allowing God to clean them out so that I can see clearly. I want so much to refuse the toddler stage of believing God can do anything but still not allowing Him to do that in me without kicking and screaming. I don't want Him to leave me in my pain and ignorance even when I'm begging Him to do just that. I want to open my eyes wide, let Him do His perfect work, and then see the things that He has for me and for our family. Lord, give me courage to trust You and allow You to work in the eyes of my heart!