Some of you are already aware of this, but to fill the rest of you in...a slightly altered version of my e-mail. Blessed be the Name of the Lord! While I started to keep this news to myself, I felt burdened to share the mercy and grace of God as He pours out His peace that passes all understanding. Much love to those of you pouring out prayers on our behalf.
While others were going about their morning routine on Friday morning, we had an eventful morning. While we had not told anyone (including our kids), I have known I was pregnant for the last few weeks. That morning, however, I lost our little one. We had just been dealing with all the overwhelming emotion of preparing for a new one in addition to our move and now all of that adjustment has changed to the grief of realizing that will not happen right now. Physically I am fine and it has been a huge blessing to have my sweet midwife a phone call or text away. We are sad but amazingly peaceful. I can only be overwhelmed as my three beautiful children wake up in the morning, not with grief, but with gratitude. I have been given so much more than I could ever ask for. It's as if my eyes are even more open to the blessings surrounding me. If the Lord needs my little heavenly army of now four angel babies for His purposes, who am I to question that? God is good, not when I get what I want, but every day of His perfect Existence. The verses He gave me were these - Psa. 84:10-12. I truly have an overwhelming sense right now of the beauty and precious value of life and walking it with my Lord. Whatever that looks like, that is all I want.
I look forward with even more excitement than before to snuggling Brittany's baby Karsen in the upcoming weeks. What a perfect healing balm she will be!
Please do keep in mind that our kids do not know about this. We feel that would be unnecessary pain for them at this point. When they are a little older we will be sure to tell them of all the works God has done in our family, including the ones that are a bit harder to understand.
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9 comments:
Courtney, what a a testimony. You share with such honesty, truth and maturity. My prayers are with you
Your faith and the faith of your family never ceases to amaze me. You've shown over and over how you live your life with God's wisdom. I am sorry for your loss and the grief and mourning that comes with it, but I'm just amazed that even in those feelings, you continue to encourage others with your testimony. What a warrior for God's kingdom you are! I am praying for you and your family. God's continued peace and richest blessings on you during this time.
I'm so glad you shared, Courtney...though I hardly ever see you (except for random times in McAlisters!), I count you as a friend and an example. You remind me in countless ways to count my blessings and give glory to God for every step in life - be it an easy step or the most challenging ever encountered. Blessings on you, friend, as you walk with Him.
It was so sweet to see you on Saturday...and to be able to give you a hug. You amazing strength in times of difficulty is such a testimony of what God has done in your lives. Sharing this with others may touch someone you don't even realize if reading it. Thanks for being such an encouragement...hugs!
I checked in on your blog to see how the move was coming and was so sad (and yet encouraged) to read this post. With all you've been through, your faith and trust in the Lord is such a testimony to God's faithfulness. I wish I could hug you in person, but know that I am offering up prayers of peace for you. Love you friend! Thanks for being so transparent.
Praying for you!
Thank you for your sweet transparency. So sorry you have had to walk through this, but I deeply admire your trust in the Lord and in His plans. Praying for your family!
I didn't know until reading your blog today about what you have just been through. Your faith and praise of the Lord in all circumstances is such an amazing testimony. My prayers are with you for continued peace and strength as your moving date gets closer.
Courtney...knwoing that your move was close I came over here to check,,,just read these words...An amazing testimony to our Lord...Oh how I love your little Heavenly army...and I grieve with you.
Thank you for sharing your ehart...I am so blessed everytime you do!
BJB
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