28 vs. 18

This week I celebrated my 28th birthday. It feels so strange sometimes to be an adult. To be a mother of three and have married siblings with nieces and nephews. To take care of a house and family and teach my child to read. All the things I watched "the moms" do, I am now doing myself. When did that happen?! Someone mentioned my approaching 30th the other day and I realized that I have absolutely no qualms about reaching that milestone. I love where God has me. I love the difference in how I feel at 28 vs. 18. Here are some of my favorites as I compare this year to when I turned 18 ten years ago.

• Instead of a beginning and still unsure relationship with John, I have the fruit of ten years of relationship and almost seven years of the most amazing marriage I could have dreamed up at that point.
• Instead of a job taking care of other people's children, I am taking care of my own favorite babies.
• Instead of constantly wondering what others are thinking of how I look or act, I feel much more free to focus on what God thinks of me.
• I am a person who feels deeply about people and their problems and joys. Instead of worrying if they feel the same way about me, I feel free to dig in and just think about what I can give to them.
• Instead of a faith founded on the belief that God was there and would provide and take care of me, I now have the far deeper trust of someone who has been carried through each struggle and pain by a God who is more real than the things I can see with my eyes.
• At 18 God was my Counselor, Friend, Comforter, Teacher. At 28 He has become far more crucial to my very being. He is Breath, Life, Wisdom, Love, Salvation, Existence.

I would never go back. I would not trade the responsibilities, lack of sleep, or non-existence of alone trips to the bathroom for any carefree fun I had at l8. Life is a lot of work right now. My body has been taken over by a tiny being who will continue to claim much of it for the next several months. My mind is full of things to be done, tasks to be performed, countless jobs that rest with me. My spirit can no longer focus only on my own growth and relationship but has a constant heart's cry for the salvation and relationship with God of my children. And my heart is full. Full to the breaking point with love and gratitude for where God has put me. Full to the point that I can't imagine there being room for more until suddenly God sends someone new and I find that my heart only gets bigger. So if this is life headed toward 30, BRING IT ON!

"Bless the LORD, O my soul; and all that is within me, bless His holy name!" Psalm 103:1