I recently read a quote on another blog's comments that has stuck with me and been running through my mind frequently. It was a saying talking about gossip that said, "Let the absent one be safe among you." Doesn't that put a completely different spin on a conversation about someone who is not present? It makes you want to protect, defend, and ally yourself with the one who needs you. The absent one. The one not there to hear the tacky, ignorant, or judgmental thing being said. It makes gossip seem so cowardly, like hitting someone whose back is turned or who is unable to defend himself. It's a great sentence to keep in the back of your mind during conversations.
Growing up I had a best friend (who is still a best friend today). We spent many, many hours together, traveled together, roomed together, went to sleepovers together, and the majority of our time spent together was during our teenage years when tongues usually seem to be their loosest and cattiest. However, I have never, not once, heard this friend say something ugly about another person. If she ever says anything that might be even perceived as negative, it is prefaced and followed by something positive or an explanation for the person's behavior. I have been challenged year after year by this sweet friend and her loyalty. She is trustworthy and kind and if someone tried to convince me that they had heard her speak wrongly of me, I would laugh. I know she's not even capable of doing that. Well, I guess capable, but chooses not to. She has allowed her conscience in this area to become so sharp, that God can prompt her of the tiniest variance from her high standard of speaking of others in their absence. Because of this, I find myself always wanting to speak as highly of her as possible. I want other people to think of her as the most amazing woman and friend. It's astounding the effect that your loyalty can have on the people to whom you are a faithful friend. So, to my Rebekah, if you read this, I love you dearly. Thank you for modeling a strength that few women are ever able to achieve - some tongue control. I pray for that same ability to protect the absent with my words, and at the same time that I pray, I know that God will not do it for me. It is my choice. A choice to choose my words carefully and use only those which will bring honor and love. And then my prayer turns to a cry for forgiveness for all the times I fail and the desire to start again tomorrow.
May the absent be safe among us!
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4 comments:
I loved your thoughts . . you have no idea how relevant they are to my life and some circumstances right now. God is good to do the prompting, and you are good to be faithful to follow through with the prompts. You have blessed me today! And, BTW, yes, my big boy started the spelling bee thing because of dear Buzby . . .we are huge Hermie and Friends fans around here!!
Whoa--very convicting. Something I definitely need to do some praying about as well. Thanks for the quote and great thoughts!
What a blessing Rebekah is in your life. And what an amazing post and reminder of something we seem to struggle with as women. Recently, I have been hurt by some gossip that randomly got back to me and I think when that happens to you, you always remember how bad it hurts. It's a great thing to think of when I am tempted to gossip!
You are a blessing to everyone who knows you - and to those you don't, by the things you share on your blog.
Be blessed today!
(And the videos are hilarious - I am still wiping the tears out of my eyes!!! Shelly and Chesley are doing so great at this prenatal exercise thing! Ha!)
Wow! I have been convicted. Thanks so much for that insight. I think so many times that women feel like they bond over gossip. This is something I will pray about for myself. Thanks for putting your thoughts out there!
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